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So who did you rape today?

As I was walking around Greyville Racecourse for my weekly exercise, I passed two woman talking and I heard the one say to the other:

she just opens her legs to any man and then wonders why she ends up being left hurt and confused

I gasped at this crude expression and battled to get rid of the mental picture it left me of this unfortunate, nameless girl..

This reminded me about an elderly confused patient I had to catheterise the other day at work , who was unable to pass urine and had a bladder stretced almost to her ribcage, about to pop!!

I had to get my collegues to help me as she squeezed her legs shut, preventing me from catheterising her.

It further led me to think how open and willing my own marriage is and how blessed I am..

I thanked God and prayed for the nameless girl that was being discussed by the other two woman.

I felt God’s Spirit interjecting my thoughts:

openess has everything to do with relationships, not just on a physical platform.

Ok, Holy Spirit. You got my attention.Tell me more, I replied when only silence followed.

Intimacy can be taken forcefully against someones will, which is rape.

Sometimes,intimidation is used by playing on emotions, leading to fragile girls like your ”unnamed girl openig herselve, hoping to fill a need. Or intimacy, can be given freely, having been asked for out of true love and being given with true love.

Ok. That all sounds right. And? Where are You going with this?

When we minister or relate to people, we will come up against those who will resist and be closed. Those people are best left alone for the time being. If you purposefully go ahead and force your way in, trying to just get your point across, you will not gain their hearts, but end up pushing them away further, or even hurting them.

If you use words of flattery and appeal in order to try and win them over to open up,the end result too will end up disasterous, for it is indirectly a reversed or inverted way of force. Their openness is not given based on their willingness.

But when a person, by the Spirit of God, the Spirit of Love, has been brought to the place where they are ready to receive the message you have to share, not because you are forcefull or you are using intimidation, only then it is right and will be able to enter that person.Then , when they receive, they will conceive only goodness, as it was intended.

I continued walking in silence, trying to take in the weight of this astounding truth!

but I started,( feeling instantly like my six year old that always has to try and argue his points with a but), sometimes, someone you love NEEDS to hear the truth in order to prevent them from getting hurt.It is wrong to stand by and see them destroy themselves when you hold the answers.

mmm, yes,my Friend and Councillor responds( and I can alomost feel Him smiling)

That is why I brought to mind your patient you needed to catheterise. Due to her confusion, she was not open to the help she needed.Did you go ahead and tried to catheterise your patient without any help, you would have had to fight her off and she would have ended up bruised. But with the help of others, you could go ahead in gentle firmness and help her. This is no different to someone who is closed to the truth.You can speak the truth once, and if they resist, you dont go ahead and force your way.You stand back, and pray (ask)for help and then you leave it. God will send others across the persons path to slowly chip away at the person until they are open to the truth.

Always remember.Openeness has everything to do with relationships.

That is what makes Jesus distinct from any other god.

He stands at the door and knocks. He never forces His entry

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Since I started working full time, so much has come our way to try the values and lifestyle we have chosen. (I am sure not more than any other people as we are all in the same boat). A range of unfortunate events to try and “take me out” as the main bread-winner, has occurred (not because I am “oh-so-important”, but take me out and the rest of our family falls apart, so it is a means to an end for the enemy)

Anyway. I know that in the end times Jesus and the word of God states that things will be so tough that peole will faint in fear and that the righteous will also be subject to it as a means to purify us. Jesus said that in these times the believers will have to walk by faith and not sight and if we shrink back, He will not be pleased with us. So I always keep all of this in mind.

The other day my devotion was on prayer and it used the verse in Luke 21:36 “be on the watch and pray that you will be able to escape all that is about to happen and that you will be able to stand before the Son of God”. In light of what I have just shared above I thought: “mmmm… I want to go and read the whole passage”. I could not find my Bible and grabbed the King James Bible (the one that uses the thee’s and thou’s!!!). The passage speaks about the end times and how by the signs in the sky we determine what season it is and how when we see certain signs that we will know the end is near. What caught my eye was this VERY INTERESTING verse: “in thy patience, possess they soul” (Luke 21:19).

Time was running out and I had to get ready for work, so I shot up a quick prayer to God saying: ”Lord show me what this means”.

Nothing really happened for the next few days. But I do pray at night that God would speak to us in dreams and visions. His Word says that “even in their sleep, the Lord instructs the righteous”. So I reckon that most days are so busy and taxing and ashamedly I don’t have time to hear God, so if he CAN INDEED talk to me while I sleep, well, then bring it on!!!

Well. I forgot about my request about the verse. A few days later, I dreamt the following:

Me and my household were surrounded by an Egyptian army. The leader of the army was that character in the movie The Mummy and every time he opened his mouth, a swarm of plagues would depart from his mouth. I remember turning to a close friend of mine, John, and saying to him: ”how are we supposed to handle this!!!” My words were not even cold when a voice from no-where spoke up and said: “feed him peeled pine apple”

I thought it weird but obeyed.

I peeled and chopped the pineapple and as the “mummy-guy” opened his mouth to release another swarm of plagues, I threw the whole pile of peeled pineapple in his enormous mouth. He suddenly disintergrated and his army became all confused and disorientated.

That was my dream!!

I told my dream to a few close friends in order to get their input. For me the dream was quite straight forward. The confusing (or shall I say amusing) thing was: what did the pineapple symbolise?

I wresteled with it and then I thought.
Okay.
I know God’s word said that the New testament believers will overcome not by might, but by His Spirit.
So the pineapple must have to do with The Spirit.
That led me to think: A pineapple is a fruit, so perhaps it has to do with the FRUITS of the Spirit.
But there are 9 fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfullness and self-control.
If the dream was talking about these fruits, the voice in the dream would have said: “feed him FRUIT (plural – not a fruit)”
But it said: “feed him pineapple”
So it was specific to ONE FRUIT and secondly not just pineapple, but PEELED pineapple.

That got me thinking.
What makes pine apple different from other fruits?
It is prickly and thorny.
It causes great frustration if bought with other groceries as it tears the plastic packets or pierces through your milk sachets.
It can only be eaten once peeled.
But it can not be peeled quickly with your bare hands like a banana, orange, etc.
It has to have a sharp instrument in order to peel it.
And o my gosh!! Does it take time to get out all those hairy-thorny parts out, and once finished it leaves a great mess to clean up.

So what is it about a pineapple that makes it different, makes it unique?

PATIENCE.

In light of the character traits I just mentioned, one needs patience to eat a pineapple!!
So I guess a pineapple (for me) represented the fruit of the Spirit PATIENCE.

Just as I nailed the meaning of the pineapple, the verse popped up: “In your PATIENCE, Possess your soul”

WOW!!!

But it did not end there.

I went to my Bible to see what that verse is translated to in my normal NIV version and it says this: “By standing firm, you will gain life”

Mmmm… So it means that we must stand firm when attacked I thought, and left it at that.

The next day I open my devotional and to my astonishment the following awaits me:
Exodus 14:13-14 “Do not be afraid. Stand FIRM, and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring today. THE EGYPTIANS you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you, you need ONLY BE STILL”

Suddenly all the puzzle pieces fell into place!!!

So now when things at home (but ESPECIALLY at work) want to drive me up the wall, I remember: “Stand firm, in patience possess your soul” …… so I take a deep breath, I compose myself and ……………. I feed the situation some pineapple!!!!!

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Because of Easter

Because of Easter,
on the occasions when I have said something out of place or done something not so becoming of a daughter of The Light , when satan whispers in my ear:” now you have messed up, there is nothing you can do to take it back, it is done”, that my Saviours’ words echoes loud and clear from the cross, : “IT IS DONE!…………. nullifying my accusers guilt laden attempts …………

Because of Easter,
when I stand in church battling to raise my hands in praise cause they feel dirty after a week of failed attempts to walk in holiness, my Saviour grabs hold of my hands, places it on the bloody, spear-gaping wound on His side, then kisses my hands and says :” NOW, worship Me My child!!”

Because of Easter,
I dont need to pray through buddah, a monkey, an elephant, mother Mary or a saint, who all are dead or have died. But I pray through my Saviour Jesus, who did indeed die, but then rose again.!! I pray to a Living God. The other god’s are dead and bears no promise. My Saviour is ALIVE!!. He has gone to prepare a place for me and is coming back for Me!!

Because of Easter,
I too walk and live among my unbelieving peers, I too, just like them have the same scorching sun rising over me, the same suffering, hardships, pain and loneliness bombarding me. But I stand tall and bear my cross bravely like my Saviour, for I have the Easter message always with me in my heart and my answer to the question of suffering is: ”What really would have been a true tragedy and uncomprehensible sadness, would be if our God left us like this…………. left us to self destruct. He had and has no obligation to us. Yet His love has prepared for us a marvellous inheritance……….

Because of Easter,
I am sealed and guided by the gift of The Holy Spirit. I no longer need to stumble in the darkness, believe the accusers lies, be hampered by any bondage. I no longer have to proof my worth or try and live up to others standards because in the presence of my Saviour the banner that is always before me reads:” You are ACCEPTED”. I dont have to feel scared as I see the end times play it self out as prophysied, for my Saviour promised He is with me to THE END OF TIME. When I see the god of this world rising up, having his finger in evry pie concerning my children, my Savior says:” greater is He that is in me”

Because of Easter
I have moved

from prison to palace,
from darkness to light,
from fear to love,
from useless to worthy
from broken to whole
from slave to possesser of my own soul………….

Because of Easter,
I am LOVED,
I BELONG,
I am ACCEPTED

Holy Holy Holy is Thy Name!!!!
Thank you God

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My husband wrote a blog recently that centred on an advert that Red Bull aired in South Africa a few weeks ago. He entitled the post “What would Jesus say to the Red Bull team” (click here to read it) which drew both support and criticism. He also tracked other discussions taking place and responded to a few of them, even reading a few comments to me. Needles to say, even though I support my husband’s view, I had some thoughts of my own brewing in me for a while. This is the end result of those thoughts.

I am my husband’s greatest critic……so even though this may look like I am just being the supportive wife, I am not. I am merely plotting down the things that were impressed on my heart when I prayerfully pondered all that was discussed both on his blog, the comments left, and comments made elsewhere.

As a new, ‘on fire’ Christian, years back I would have fully supported the various strong Christian positions aired by so many. But I have come to realise that God Almighty does not need to be defended. He is big enough and strong enough and almighty enough to defend Himself, should He choose to. Nowhere (that I can recall) are we commanded to defend His name or His character from the blasphemous.

Jesus Himself did not defend Himself before His crucifixtion even though He was given a hearing in front of the Sanhedrin. When Peter cut off the ear of the soldier in a brave act to protect Jesus, Jesus told Peter explicitly: ”Do you think I cannot call upon My Father and He will at once put to My disposal a legion of angles (Matthew 26:53). Prior to that when Jesus informed them that He will be captured and put to death, Peter too jumped to Jesus’ defence and said: ”surely Lord, this will not be allowed to happen” and Jesus replied : “get behind me satan, for you have not the things of God in mind, but the things of men” (Matthew 16:23).

Prior to that, two of Jesus’s disciples, James and John, also wanted to silence the blasphemous crowd who did not acknowledge Jesus, and asked if they should call forth fire from Heaven to destroy them and Jesus replied: ”You do not know of what manner of spirit you are of, for the Son of man did not come to destroy men’s lives but to save them” (Luke 9:54 NKJV)

When the crowds and His disciples got irritated with His patience and compassion towards the sinners, He told them: ”that it is not the healthy that needs a doctor but the sick”.

He therefor taught the sinners, but never lost His cool with them. When the Pharasees wanted to stone the prostitute, He told them that those who are wthout sin should cast the 1st stone. He never condoned what the sinners were doing, but He also never condemned them.

He did however ‘loose His cool’ on various occasions, calling His hearers vipers. But it was towards those who were trained in the ways of God. When He lost His temper and threw around furniture and shouted that His house should be called a house of prayer, It was once again against those ‘who should have known better’. If there is holy anger and correction that needs to take place, it is inside our church walls, our Christain circles and our own house holds, cause we know the truth……..and we have the Spirit of Truth……this is the place where we should be getting ‘hot under the collar’.

And yes, we should feel saddened at an advert like Red Bull as discussed here, and we should not sit in the seat of mockers\. But mor importantly we should be praying like Jesus: ”forgive them Lord for they know not what they are doing”.

We will do well to remember that God’s word said that we should not judge or take revenge but leave that for Him to do. We will do well to remember that it is The Lord who builds His church and it is The Lord who humbles the proud . It is not for us to “bring them down a few notches”.

We will do well to remember that Jesus said to pray for our enemies and to turn the other cheeck, not to oppose and challenge them. We will do well to remember that when Jesus asked who do the disciples think He is, He dismissed and ignored their reply of what “the crowd” thought and asked “but who do YOU think I am”.

The ten commandments states YOU should not take the name of the Lord in vain. It does not say:” make sure your neighbour, friend or the business round the corner, does not take My name in vain”. One day when He returns, every INDIVIDUAL will have to give account for every careless word spoken, and that includes every member of that Red Bull team advert!!

We will do well to remember that Jesus said that we call Him Lord Lord, but do not His will.

In other words we can Honor His name as much as we want (Lord Lord!!) but are we doing His will………….for He said “this is how the world will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another”. 1 Corinthians 13 states that even if we possess all the traits of God’s kingdom (ie do and say all the right things) but we have no love…………..we are just empty noisy cymbals……………

Jesus came to walk among us on the earth as a human……….yet without sin…………..

Yes, the Red Bull advert is offensive.
Yes, it is blasphemous to those who are believers.
Yes, no one said we should laugh with them.
Yes, we are comanded not to sit in the seat of mockers; but so too can we walk among them, just without sin.

When opportunities like these present themselves, I rejoice, because Satan is exposed like this. Without opportunities like these I would not have had the need to pray (for the enemy) and ask that God forgive them for they know not what they do. Who knows, without that advert, no one would have thought of praying for the team who compiled it. Perhaps no one has prayed for them before, but NOW …….., all of the world’s Christians’ attention has been averted to them……….if all of us were all praying instead of working on our well compiled arguments………I wonder what wonderfull suprise would be awaiting us ……….and them………they may just find out that it is indeed not Red Bull that gives them wings…………

What would happen if we did indeed DO what our Lord said, and use the opportunity to pray for our enemies…….

For we are commanded to pray for our enemies as much as we are to have an answer ready to give to those who ask about the hope that we have in Christ. So have your statements/defenses ready…….so that when God has done His work in those unbelievers’ hearts (due to you praying for them now that they have been exposed) that the seeds of truth you present to them will fall on fertile ground and multiply…………….anything apart from that will not be received, and will definately not conceive…………for the enemy will choke it and steal it and nothing will be gained apart from their hearts being hardened even more like Pharoah’s heart.

And as I am ending off I am already asking God for forgiveness. For I realise how much I am failing in this very area in so many ways…………so help me God!!

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The other day I was on my way out to drop Tim at school. I was eager to get him there as I had my morning jam-packed with important things to get ticked off my “to-do-list”.

Everything that could get in the way did!! Tim was in one of his tantrum moods, Pixy my dog decided to poo inside the house, and as I got to the car, I realised I left something inside the house, bla bla bla bla bla.

My ultimate test of patience came when Tim and I were eventually sitting seated and buckeld up and I realised I forgot to set the alarm inside the house. So out I got to re-open the house to set the alarm and as I was fighting off frustration and many colorful words entering my mind, I thought: ”Satan is a real persistant bugger!! He has a willpower beyond anything! He is really trying to get me to break out in anger and impatience, to use foul language and get to my appointments late!!! If he has a plan to get you, he just wont let go!!” It is indeed true what I read once: ”patience is satan’s strong point!!”

The scary things was, that I could feel my resistance crumbeling……

As I pondered all of this in my mind, I distinctly heard a loud voice enter my mind: ”I will not give My glory to another!”

I knew that was God.

“Ok ?”, I said a bit unsure.

Silence.

“Ok God, what was that all about? I think I am missing the point”

And there it was, that still small, loving voice, this time less authoritative….

“This entire morning your mind has been focussed on the enemy. Every thing that happened you just assumed it was of his doing.”

Still baffled I answered: ”well is it not?”

“you proclaim and invite Me as Lord of your life, daily. Just the last few days you have asked Me to not let you waist or miss opportunities to be My ambassador to people and in situations. Every day and night You beseech Me for protection over you”

“Yes that is true, Lord”

“So, do you agree that it could very well have been Me allowing you not to be on the road at a specific moment as to avoid a possible hijack or an accident?”

I draw in my breath………..

“Is it not possible that I wanted you to be late as I was setting you up to meet a specific person at a specific place as I needed you to speak words of encouragement or wisdom or love to that person? Leaving 5 minutes later would afford you the perfect timing to “bump into them, by chance”

Silence….this time from my side.

“In all that has happened this morning I could have allowed it, in order to answer all of your preceding prayers. Yet, you so easily assume that satan is to be blamed for your apparent momentarily discomfort…… I repeat, I will not share My glory with another. In all things I work out the good”

I am sorry Lord, forgive me.

Thank you for showing me.

I learned my lesson and now when things go wrong, I understand that it could be the enemy or that God could allow it in order to grow things like patience, endurance or long suffering in me, but even more so, that He may be allowing it in order to answer a prayer I prayed before or to use it as a stepping stone on my way to a greater plan He has for me.

I know that God’s Word says that we are not ignorant of satan’s schemes, but it also says that we should submit to God, resist satan and then he will flee.

Submitting to God:
So when things go wrong, instead of trying to understand why, I will submit by saying: “Lord I gave You control of my life, so I know You are the one controlling the outcome of this, not satan.”

I resist satan:
By not falling into sin (getting angry, swearing etc) and then I move ahead in eager anticipation to see what is indeed ahead of me!!!

I take my focus off of satan and place the glory where it belongs.

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Before I had Tim I was so overshadowed by my fear that my weaknesses and my “secret sins”,  would cause me to be a bad mother, and thus scar my child for life. Being a “scarred child” myself and having had to endure the pain of trying to find my way out in the big world, made me more determined not to ever do that to my child! I prayed a lot and my main question was how is it possible in today’s world to raise a godly child in this ungodly world?

God’s answer?
“He who is IN you, is greater than the one that is in the world” (1 John 4:4) and, “in your weaknesses I will show Myself strong” (cf. 2 Corinthians 12:9). He also provided me with a list of beautiful promises to stand on and claim for Tim.

So trembling and fearfully I took a step of courage and fell pregnant……..

I had my beautiful boy and wow!!!! Did my journey of getting to know myself and know God better, explode into existence!!

I learned that parenthood is NOT the art of suppressing your weaknesses until they get smothered and die. No!! The challenges of parenthood escalates your weaknesses to the forefront and you are forced to FACE THEM!! Your love and devotion causes you to deal with it for the sake of your child and there is no more room for “Ah, I am not perfect”. For the sake of your child you face those demons and you deal with it.

……………..and suddenly I understood that children are INDEED a blessing.

For his entrance into my world has taken my spiritual journey to the next level!! I had to suddenly check my every motive, my every move, my every word, because now I had little eyes watching me and little feet following me……….

Did I not make mistakes?
Did I not fail?

Oh, I made so many and if ever I were to have another one, I would do MANY things different. But even in that I learned that it caused me to be dependent on God, to run to Him and say:
I messed up!!
Please forgive!!
Please restore!!
Please heal!!

Oh how faithful has He been to those little S.O.S cries!!

And I have also realised that creating “the perfect world” for my child, only sets him up to never be “in need of God”…………

Through the birth of my son I have suddenly got to learn and understand My God’s heart so much!!!

I hope to share some of this with you and I pray that you would be able to experience exactly the same and that you would be able to fill in your own “revelations” of the Father Heart of God as we journey together.

Be blessed forever!!!

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You Promised You Will !!!

Prayer is nothing else than taking God’s promises to Him and saying:
“do as You have said”

As a new Christain, I loved this definition of prayer, cause I loved the promises in God’s Word and I love prayer!!

My 1st uncertainty came when I just had my miscarriage and Tim was very sick. I went and wrote every single promise on healing down from the Old and New Testament and stood on it, reminding God (and myself) of His promises and shouting it out to everything and everyone else that was not of God too.

Tim was not healed and got admitted for pneumonia and had to have painfull drips etc.

I was very disappointed, my faith shaken, but not destroyed.
I felt like Peter, when Jesus asked him; ”are you too leaving Me now?” and Peter answered: ”where would we go, Lord. You have the words of life” (John 6:68).

As I sought God’s face, He showed me a verse where Jesus told the Pharasees; ”you dilligently study the Scriptures, because by it you think you have life” (John 5:39). And although in context He was refering to the fact that following “the letter” is not what brings them salvation but His sacrifice would accomplish that, for me, at that moment, I knew God was saying to me: ”do you put your trust in the written Word or The Author of the Word? Do you put your trust in the weapons of warfare, or The Creator of the weapons?”

I knew without a doubt that He was showing me that I worshipped His power instead of Him. I still came to Him in times of need seeking only His hand and not His Face.
When a child comes running to you,when he falls and scrapes his knee open, what do you do? You pick him up, hold him close, whisper words of comfort in his ears and LOVE him………………..THEN you attend to his need for a hurting knee……perhaps this is the same with God? Perhaps His love and comfort precede the healing we seek?

It has been two years now and I often ponder about this revelation and God has shown me many different little facets of this same “lesson” (I wrote and shared my “lesson” on: I WILL NOT SHARE MY GLORY WITH ANOTHER).

Just last week God revealed to me yet another facet of this.

I was getting Timothy ready for school and it being my day off work, he made his “demands” on how we would spend the afternoon together when I pick him up from school.
I agreed and committed to one of his requests.

Later as we were driving to school, he reminded me: ”remember mom, you PROMISED you will take me to the toy shop to buy a sword with my pocket money.”

YOU PROMISED !!” he repeated in an elevated and accusatory tone, “and you are not allowed to break your promise.

At that moment I felt irritation rise up in me. “Tim” I said, trying to find words that I can use to reason with a five year old, “I did promise, yes. But I dont appreciate the way you are shouting at me right now. Has mommy ever promised you something and not done it?
“no, mommy”
“So why do you have to remind me as if you are expecting me to break my promise?
I said I will, and I will, so stop worrying about it, ok?”
“Yes mommy. Sorry for shouting mommy”

As I drove back, it dawned on me:
is it perhaps possible, that that is how we treat God?

We “remind” Him of His promises and then say:” now do as You have said”
Does He not too get a bit offended by it?
Does He not too answer us the same way as I did Tim?

Look at David.

He never “reminded” God directly about God’s promises. He rather proclaimed it when He said:
”Lord Your love and faithfulness reaches to the skies!”
“Lord we thank you for your goodness”
“Lord, You never forsake the rigteous and those who put their hope in you are never put to shame”
If there was any REMINDING done, it was to remind HIMSELF (David) or to inform his readers.

I suddenly see God’s promises in a far different light………….
I proclaim it yes!!………….for my own building of faith.
I claim it as a builder of my expectant hope.
But I surely think twice now before I take it in prayer to God, making sure I thank Him for it and not DEMAND it.

For just like with Tim, there is no need to demand it or remind God of it.

When we need to wait, it may very well be like with Daniel, where he prayed for 21 days when an angel appeared to him and said, ”since the moment you humbled yourself in prayer before God, your words were heard and I was sent in response to it, but I was held up….” (Daniel 10:12).

Sometimes Tim asks me to do something when I am in the middle of something and I will answer immediately: “Ok, Tim, i’ll be there now!!” Literally 5 seconds later he will shout impatiently: “Mom!! You said you are coming!! I am waiting!!

My answer?
I heard you and I am on my way, Tim, but I need to finish with the task I am busy with, please be patient, I will come just now. I cannot just drop everything everytime you ask me something”……

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Thank You Lord that Your promises do indeed stand forever.
Thank You that your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
Thank You Lord that You do hear our prayers and asnswer them in three ways according to Your wisdom and love for us :
Yes
No
Wait

Amen

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