Archive for February, 2012

The other day I was on my way out to drop Tim at school. I was eager to get him there as I had my morning jam-packed with important things to get ticked off my “to-do-list”.

Everything that could get in the way did!! Tim was in one of his tantrum moods, Pixy my dog decided to poo inside the house, and as I got to the car, I realised I left something inside the house, bla bla bla bla bla.

My ultimate test of patience came when Tim and I were eventually sitting seated and buckeld up and I realised I forgot to set the alarm inside the house. So out I got to re-open the house to set the alarm and as I was fighting off frustration and many colorful words entering my mind, I thought: ”Satan is a real persistant bugger!! He has a willpower beyond anything! He is really trying to get me to break out in anger and impatience, to use foul language and get to my appointments late!!! If he has a plan to get you, he just wont let go!!” It is indeed true what I read once: ”patience is satan’s strong point!!”

The scary things was, that I could feel my resistance crumbeling……

As I pondered all of this in my mind, I distinctly heard a loud voice enter my mind: ”I will not give My glory to another!”

I knew that was God.

“Ok ?”, I said a bit unsure.


“Ok God, what was that all about? I think I am missing the point”

And there it was, that still small, loving voice, this time less authoritative….

“This entire morning your mind has been focussed on the enemy. Every thing that happened you just assumed it was of his doing.”

Still baffled I answered: ”well is it not?”

“you proclaim and invite Me as Lord of your life, daily. Just the last few days you have asked Me to not let you waist or miss opportunities to be My ambassador to people and in situations. Every day and night You beseech Me for protection over you”

“Yes that is true, Lord”

“So, do you agree that it could very well have been Me allowing you not to be on the road at a specific moment as to avoid a possible hijack or an accident?”

I draw in my breath………..

“Is it not possible that I wanted you to be late as I was setting you up to meet a specific person at a specific place as I needed you to speak words of encouragement or wisdom or love to that person? Leaving 5 minutes later would afford you the perfect timing to “bump into them, by chance”

Silence….this time from my side.

“In all that has happened this morning I could have allowed it, in order to answer all of your preceding prayers. Yet, you so easily assume that satan is to be blamed for your apparent momentarily discomfort…… I repeat, I will not share My glory with another. In all things I work out the good”

I am sorry Lord, forgive me.

Thank you for showing me.

I learned my lesson and now when things go wrong, I understand that it could be the enemy or that God could allow it in order to grow things like patience, endurance or long suffering in me, but even more so, that He may be allowing it in order to answer a prayer I prayed before or to use it as a stepping stone on my way to a greater plan He has for me.

I know that God’s Word says that we are not ignorant of satan’s schemes, but it also says that we should submit to God, resist satan and then he will flee.

Submitting to God:
So when things go wrong, instead of trying to understand why, I will submit by saying: “Lord I gave You control of my life, so I know You are the one controlling the outcome of this, not satan.”

I resist satan:
By not falling into sin (getting angry, swearing etc) and then I move ahead in eager anticipation to see what is indeed ahead of me!!!

I take my focus off of satan and place the glory where it belongs.

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Before I had Tim I was so overshadowed by my fear that my weaknesses and my “secret sins”,  would cause me to be a bad mother, and thus scar my child for life. Being a “scarred child” myself and having had to endure the pain of trying to find my way out in the big world, made me more determined not to ever do that to my child! I prayed a lot and my main question was how is it possible in today’s world to raise a godly child in this ungodly world?

God’s answer?
“He who is IN you, is greater than the one that is in the world” (1 John 4:4) and, “in your weaknesses I will show Myself strong” (cf. 2 Corinthians 12:9). He also provided me with a list of beautiful promises to stand on and claim for Tim.

So trembling and fearfully I took a step of courage and fell pregnant……..

I had my beautiful boy and wow!!!! Did my journey of getting to know myself and know God better, explode into existence!!

I learned that parenthood is NOT the art of suppressing your weaknesses until they get smothered and die. No!! The challenges of parenthood escalates your weaknesses to the forefront and you are forced to FACE THEM!! Your love and devotion causes you to deal with it for the sake of your child and there is no more room for “Ah, I am not perfect”. For the sake of your child you face those demons and you deal with it.

……………..and suddenly I understood that children are INDEED a blessing.

For his entrance into my world has taken my spiritual journey to the next level!! I had to suddenly check my every motive, my every move, my every word, because now I had little eyes watching me and little feet following me……….

Did I not make mistakes?
Did I not fail?

Oh, I made so many and if ever I were to have another one, I would do MANY things different. But even in that I learned that it caused me to be dependent on God, to run to Him and say:
I messed up!!
Please forgive!!
Please restore!!
Please heal!!

Oh how faithful has He been to those little S.O.S cries!!

And I have also realised that creating “the perfect world” for my child, only sets him up to never be “in need of God”…………

Through the birth of my son I have suddenly got to learn and understand My God’s heart so much!!!

I hope to share some of this with you and I pray that you would be able to experience exactly the same and that you would be able to fill in your own “revelations” of the Father Heart of God as we journey together.

Be blessed forever!!!

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